An Unexpected Visitor

I do not really know where to start!  I had a two day holiday with the two girls living in the house next door.  It was an odd sort of holiday and I had to share it with two wonky dogs.  Vincent only has one ear and the other one, Frankie, has funny legs that the girls had put a bandage on.  He had obviously been naughty because he had to wear something the girls called a "Bad Hat".  Everyone kept saying how cute he was but I thought he looked rather silly, like he was wearing a lampshade on his head.  I sort of played with them for a bit but they are not really my type, they know NOTHING about the games I normally play and did not even know what a pair of knickers were!  They were a bit goody two shoes.  When "her indoors" came back to get me I was so happy to see my gang again, Blondie was a bit cross because I got to go on holiday and she didn't, I knew she was upset because she bit my ear.  Chloe was understandably overjoyed to see me and we immediately set about playing.  Strangely, there are not many flip flops or knickers to be found and "her indoors" keeps mumbling about the lack of them.  I wonder what she has done with them all?

Frankie "Bad Hat"

"Her indoors" went out one afternoon and when she returned I greeted her in my normal fashion of leaping off the ground and hurling myself at her.  Then I had the shock of my life!  She had this THING with her.  A squeaky, long tailed THING that shouts louder than me when I want my dinner.  It demands attention all the time.  I do not know what it is, Blondie and Snake do not know either, Snake thinks the only way to find out is to eat it and Blondie tries to play with it but is a bit scared!  I am much braver and try to give it a good wash when I can, it's a bit smelly between you and I.  It bashes me on the nose with its hands and has the longest fingers I have ever seen.  I think it must be a baby because they bought it a teddy bear to cuddle,  I thought I could invent a new game to impress Chloe but "her indoors" got cross when I tried to run off with it (the teddy bear, not the THING).  I am a bit disgruntled to be honest, what does this THING think it is?  Coming in here wanting all the attention.  Everyone that comes to visit goes all silly when they see it.  I keep trying to show them how wonderful I am, especially now my coat is all shiny and sleek but they do not notice, I am going under the bed with a book to munch on whilst I hatch a plan.

What is that THING?

I got taken downstairs again to visit that needle man.  Sure enough, he stuck a needle in my bottom but I was not going to show I was scared this time so I retained a dignified silence.  I have to say that although I was reluctant to change, I can now see the benefit of this needle man, my coat is so beautiful and although I did not think it possible, I am even more handsome than I was.

Mr Handsome!

"Her indoors" is going to England.  What is England?  Not sure why she has to go or why she cannot take me but apparently some other women are going to come and live here and look after me, perhaps I can convince them that the only food I eat is sausages and flip flops?  Will be in touch again when she returns, I have to wait for her before writing again as I cannot get the hang of this keyboard.

Love and licks,

Fing
xxx

Monsters and Games!

Hi everyone,

The last week has been pretty eventful! I had an unpleasant experience with a grass eating monster outside my window, I was pretty scared I can tell you which is a big thing for me to admit!! Her indoors found it funny if you can believe it! There I was sleeping peacefully on my cushion when the monster started shouting right outside my window, I ran as fast as I could to the other side of the room and put my tail between my legs to keep myself safe. Her indoors picked me up and took me back to where the monster was, I struggled as much as I could but she insisted I look at it, it had a Sri Lankan man attached to it and was eating grass like it was going out of fashion. I did feel a bit better after that, if it was eating the grass then hopefully it would not want to come and eat me!

Checking out the Monster.

I have so many friends that I think I should share with you some of the fun times we have. Blondie is great but she is a bit rough sometimes and tries to dangle me upside down, people may think I have Fruit Bat in my blood but I prefer to stay the right way up if possible. Snake is a grumpy old man and will not play with me, instead he smiles at me if I get too close, I think it's a smile, anyway, he shows me all his lovely white teeth. My favourite playmate though is Chloe. Chloe and I have to play in secret because her indoors does not seem to understand the games that Chloe is teaching me. The “Knicker Game” is enormous fun! What you do is wait until her indoors is out of the room, then you jump as high as you can and grab a pair of knickers from the washing airer, you eat as much of them as you can before she comes back into the room, it is highly exciting and gets the adrenalin going!! The other really good one is the brush game, any brush will do, hairbrush, dustpan brush, toothbrush but the best is the toilet brush. Again, her indoors needs to sort out her attitude, Chloe and I were trying to have fun and play the toilet brush game at 5.30 in the morning - well it's cooler then and we were wide awake. We managed to carry it between us and were heading for under the bed when she woke up, we almost made it but she had to get out of bed and spoil it for us, meanie. We had to make do with eating the mosquito net instead. Chloe is trying to teach me a new game, flip flop eating. What you do is wait until they are talking and distracted, you check each one out to see if they are looking then you run like the wind with a flip flop, they do not want them anyway, they leave them on the floor. I take them to Chloe who is waiting inside, she pretends to be asleep to fool them, then we take them under the bed and fight for them!

Toilet brush game, Chloe left me to take the blame.

A really horrid thing happened that I was not expecting. Her indoors took me downstairs to that clinic place, I was happy to see some of my friends in there, Hope and Princess barked at me a bit but I think I convinced them I was OK. I am a bit wary of that Hope though, she runs around in a shopping trolley and runs everyone over. Then the needle man turned up and before I could say “ouch” stuck a needle in me!! I shouted and shouted to no avail, they kept telling me it was for my own good and that I would feel better but I LIKE the moth eaten fur look, I think it suits me. I was pretty grumpy I can tell you and I know that one eyed kitten was laughing at me, she and her small puppy mate sitting smugly on their bed, Boris and Bridget with their sob stories about their poor start, ha, they think they are so cute and humble but I know once everyone has left them they are up to no good, climbing up the shelves and cages and throwing all the towels and rolls of paper on the floor.

Boris and Bridget, oh so smug.

I am off for a holiday and I know I will not have time to send a postcard, I need time to relax after all the traumas of this past week. Take care and remember NOT to eat knickers whilst anyone is watching!!

Love and Licks,

Fing

xxx

Allow me to introduce myself.......

Hi, I am Funny Fing, although my friends just call me Fing.  I have decided to write a regular blog as I am such a popular guy, people seem to want to know what I have been doing!

I live in a place called Animal SOS in Sri Lanka, it is a good place to be, I share my house with "her indoors", Blondie, Snake and sometimes Chloe.  I and my brothers and sisters were rooting about on a rubbish tip looking for some scraps of food - we were so hungry - when a couple of English women suddenly appeared, bundled us into a basket and bought us here.  They seemed shocked as we were so thin and sickly but we thought that was normal!  There seems to be rather a lot of dogs here, lots of barking and playing, I prefer to stay upstairs though in my house, much more civilized.  When we arrived we were taken into a room the women called the clinic.  They gave us some food, milk and puppy biscuits, we could not get enough and all got a bit wet whilst stuffing our faces.  Then, it got a bit horrid, they put lotion on us as they said we had fleas, how dare they!  They then gave us some pink liquid to take away the worms from our tummies, it did not taste that good but I did feel better the next day so I let them off.  They then put us in a big cage and left us to go to sleep.  We discussed what had happened to us and decided on reflection that we were better off here than the rubbish tip, there we had nothing, here we had lots of food, cuddles and love.  My brothers and sisters were very sleepy as they had been for several days but I stayed awake for a while listening to the other dogs talking outside before I drifted off.  Over the next few days I settled in but my brothers and sisters did not seem very well and one by one they were taken off to other cages and did not come back again, the English women and the man with the needles kept saying a funny word, virus, don't know what that means but they then decided I had to be put in isolation.  What is an isolation? Does anyone know?  All I know is I had to go and live in another room all by myself and I did not like it.  I think the women had gone by this time because they never came back, only "her indoors" as I call her now.  I made my feelings very clear about this isolation business and tried to escape several times by knocking over a large piece of wood which landed on my head.  It was very heavy and gave me a headache.  Anyway, luckily for me, this incident made "her indoors" decide I had to go and live with her.  I had a few more incidents, I ran into a broom which fell on my head, then a few days later I ran into the mop which did the same thing. What is their problem? What do they want to go jumping on my head for?  I did feel a bit poorly on and off and heard "her indoors" muttering to the needle man about virus again.  They gave me pink tablets and I started to feel better.  Pink tablets only taste good when "her indoors" mashes them up with yoghurt and Pedigree Chum puppy meat, then I might eat them.  I got better but then got sick again, this time I went blind in one eye, not helpful when you are a busy lad with things to do.  It got much worse after that as "her indoors" would pick me up and speak nicely to me, she tried to fool me into thinking something good was happening but I soon learnt that meant she was going to squirt things in my eye!  I was not impressed I can tell you but as my eye started to go back to normal I decided that she was not so bad after all and now I can see properly.

I have decided I quite like living here, I get lots of attention and of course all the girls that come and visit this place love me, I can't help it, it is my body shape and looks, some people seem to think I look like a cross between chihauhua and a fruit bat, they are just rude and "her indoors" tells them I will grow into my looks, whatever that means.  She keeps on about me being like a cat with 9 lives and a story with an ugly duckling in it, I keep trying to convince her that I am not a cat or a duck but she does not listen, sometimes you just have to maintain a dignified silence.

So, that is my story so far, I will write again soon and tell you what I have been doing, my life is so busy and exciting that I do not know when I will have time to write again, keep your eyes open though and look out for me.

Lots of love and licks,

Fing
xxxx